|
hahahahaha! Republicans...skip this entry. ********** Schedule for The 2004 Republican National Convention (New York City)
10:00am: Opening Ceremony: Pat Boone accompanies Lee Greenwood singing "I'm Proud to be an American" during raising of the confederate flag 10:05am: Vote on Motion to go into Closed Session (If motion fails, Justice Antonin Scalia to announce that all media must turn off audio and video recording devices). 10:30am: Katherine Harris speaks on "Are Elections Really Necessary?" 10:45am: Trent Lott - "Re-segregation in the 21st Century" 11:00am: Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan 11:10am: Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders" 11:30am: Rush Limbaugh - "Just Say No To Drugs" 11:45am: Ann Coulter's Tribute to "Joe McCarthy, American Patriot" 12:00 noon: Singing of "God Bless America" and big screen projection of "Blue Angels" fly-over 12:04pm: Lunch Break - steak with vegetable sides of ketchup and relish, yellow cake 12:30pm: Oliver North - "Never Trade Arms with Terrorists" 1:00pm: Reps. Doolittle and DeLay speak on the GOP congressional agenda. 1:30pm: Group cheer -- Global-warming-schmobal warming! 1:35pm: GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell and Condi Rice 2:00pm: Accounting for Beginners -- "Tax Cuts are Good for Deficit Reduction" 2:30pm: Labor Secretary Elaine Chao speaks on "Economic Growth Through Job Exportation" 3:00pm: Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage" 3:30pm: Unveiling of "The Guide to Imperialism" by the Heritage Foundation 4:00pm: Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore 4:15pm: "Stomp on Poor People" Happy Hour (guided sight-seeing buses leaving for Harlem every 10 minutes) 6:00pm: Dinner Break: Texas-Style Endangered Species Barbeque 7:00pm: John Ashcroft leads Ceremonial burning of the Bill of Rights (Note to convention hall staff - make sure statue of Justice is fully clothed) 7:15pm: George W. Bush video tribute "Higher than a Kite: Portrait of a Fighter Pilot" 7:30pm: Vote on Motion to put image of Ronald Reagan on one dollar bill Keynote Speech by Dick Cheney (Exact time TBA, depending on his arrival from secret bunker). 8:00pm: "Kiss Ass" session with Christian Coalition 8:30pm: Workshop on government-corporate relations by Dick Cheney 8:45pm: Log Cabin Republicans Encounter Session -- Coming to Terms with Your Self-Hatred 9:00pm: Assault Rifle Raffle |
:PLAYLIST:
:I
READ: |